Missing her

sherri anderson said...

I miss her so much. It is really strange for me at day program. I still get the question weres Reah? I actually like hearing that question because it helps me just to hear her name. I know she will live on in our hearts forever.

REAH

Thanks Jodi for writing this beautiful poem and sharing it with us. I am so glad someone got Grandma's talent for writing.
Christy

From Tara

I think I wrote most of my memories with Reah in the the memory books we gave Christine, but there's one that happened pretty recently so it hasn't been shared. Reah was working on her paper chain and I was drawing lines on the paper to help her as a guide. She was being so protective of her stack of paper, keeping it under one elbow. I was in need of a new piece of paper to draw lines on so she said, "Here, I'll give it to you," as she kindly handed me a piece of paper. I said, "Oh thank you!" And I leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. When I was done drawing lines on that piece I handed it back to her and she kindly gave me a new piece. I said "Thank you," and went to draw lines on the paper. Reah just looked at me and said, "Where's my kiss?"

from Bonnie

I am going to miss the "Hey Turkey, You my friend, I love you wheres your truck?" Reah taught us so much on being patient and kind and loving. What better teacher then her. Her cheery smile and the big bear hugs will be missed by all. I am a better person for having had Reah a part of my life. You will be missed but always remembered. My PRETTY LADY!

Jenna Neilson said...

Reah loved to carry on conversation with herself and others that we could not see. When she would really get into her conversations she would slap her fist into her hand, while laughing and giggling. Inbetween talking she would make these airplane noises, while moving from side to side. The more she got into the conversation the more exaggerated her movements would get. I loved watching Reah in her conversations. She brought so much joy to my life and many others. Her laugh and unconditional love will always make me smile.

Adding Stories

If you want to add stories just leave a coment. You can either tell the story there and I will move it to a new post or you can leave your email and I will add you so you can post your own story. If someone knows a better way to do it please let me know! Thanks, Christy

Remembering Reah

Reah Reber was born on a beautiful, sunny day, February 19th, 1974. Out of all of my siblings her birth is the one I remember well. I think it was a Tuesday. Mom, Grandma Jensen, Danna and I all went to St. George for a Dr. appointment and he said mom wasn’t going home without a baby. Grandma took Danna and I across the street to her mom’s house and left us with her sister Aunt Madge. I was so excited to get a new baby brother or sister and I thought it was cool that I got to go to Primary with Aunt Madge. I was even wearing a skirt. It was my favorite dress up. One that mom had made me out of polyester squares. I still have it! It was a great day! Then we got to go see Reah and she was the goofiest little baby with the most amazing blue eyes.
It didn’t take long to figure out that Reah had the same problems that Danna had and she quickly became mom’s guinney pig. Mom and the doctors tried everything to help Reah breath better at night. She had this crazy halo thing that had wires coming out of it that put pressure behind her jaws. You can imagine how much she loved that. She had caps on her teeth so that elastic bands could be hooked on to bring her jaw forward. That was better but not the greatest. Most often, if she fell asleep mom would hold her face, behind her jaw, and put enough pressure on it to bring her jaw forward so that she could breath better. More than one sacrament meeting ended with Reah having bright red marks from mom holding her so she could sleep through church.
She was also put through having her tonsils/adenoids out with the thought that it would help her breathing. She also had surgery to correct her cross eyes after trying to get her to wear eye patches. When she got older she had braces, a headgear, and palat stretcher and eventually had her jaw broken on both sides and extended. Mom is sure that she spent her life angry at her mother because of all the torture and abuse that she had to endure. And that is where Reah’s most famous, at least among our family, saying came about. When Reah was feeling really picked on she would say, “I’m going to tell Grandpa.” To which the reply was always, “You go right ahead.” And I am sure she did!
Reah was a sweet thing and as one friend said she was spunky. She was a tiny thing for a really long time. Before she could walk we would put her in a round walker and use a dish cloth to tie her in or she would just slide right out of the seat into the bottom.

On her third birthday Uncle Kelly Jensen decided that he wasn’t leaving the party until she could walk and he didn’t. He worked her all night until she could walk across the living room floor and then she didn’t stop. She was on the go and she had things to do.
Reah started school the fall after she turned three and loved it. She had been blessed by Elder Vaughn J. Fetherstone that she would be able to read and write and she learned to do both. She had a wonderful teacher, Susan Stokes Saltzman, her entire educational career who taught Reah to do some things that amazed me. Reah learned to swim and she loved to dive off the diving board. They were mostly belly flops but it was something that I was never brave enough to do. She learned to bowl, another thing that she was better than me at. It is humiliating to go bowling with your little sisters and be out bowled by every one of them. She became quite an athlete and went to Las Vegas for Special Olympics track and field several times. She got downright skinny there for awhile because she was training so hard. Something else I have never done! The last time she went to Vegas for Special Olympics I was teaching down there so I went over to spend the day with them. The huggers for the events were members of the UNLV football team and I don’t know who enjoyed the attention more her or me.
Reah had wonderful teachers in the gospel too. In primary Verde Hughes was her teacher and went all out for that girl. Mom still has some of the things that Aunt Verde made for her. Reah had great leaders in young women’s who made sure that she was able to take part in everything that was going on and in seminary she was taught by Brother David Anderson.
As a little kid Reah’s best friend was her sister Danna. They were always together. They slept in the same bed, they went to school together. They were a unit. Reah’s life was forever changed when Danna passed away and In my opinion that is what made her angry. She never quite got over it and had a rough time that first year. Then Melanie came along and Reah had a doll. Reah always struggled with Lara Dawn. I think it was because Lara reminded Reah of Danna but wasn’t Danna. Melanie was a little Reah and Reah loved her. My favorite memory of the two of them is of the morning mom got up to find Melanie not in her crib. She probably panicked just a little and then checked on Reah. There they were, snoring away together with Reah’s hand on Mel’s back where she had fallen asleep patting her back. Melanie must have woke up fussing without mom hearing it, which is a miracle in itself, so Reah went, got her out of her crib and brought her to bed. It was so sweet and we had to get pictures of it.

Melanie and Reah remained close and Melanie was one of the few people who could get away with going in Reah’s room and playing with her stuff although she always had to get permission first. Lara was never let in to play but I do have proof that Reah really did love her. When Lara was little she would escape the house and end up in the corral going for a walk with the horses. Mom got tired one day of trying to keep her in the yard so we got a long piece of rope, tied one end to the tree and the other end to a belt around Lara’s waist and let her play. Pretty soon she was back down in the corral. She had been fussing about being trapped so Reah went out to save her. It has been fun in the years since they moved into the house together to see the friendships between the three of them grow.
I have always been asked what it is like to have grown up with special sisters? My response has always been, what is it like to not? But I have to say that there have been times that I have been jealous of my friends and their sister relationships. Reah gave me a glimpse of that once. I think I was in college and I was home for the weekend but had gone out with some of my friends. When I got home, and it was probably late, the only person awake was Reah. She was in her room talking to herself so I went and crawled in her bed and we talked about our day and what we had done. It was what I always imagined it was like. We had a great visit and I will always cherish that memory.
Another favorite activity with Reah, well not really with her. . . was to listen in on her conversations. It is an activity that her staff enjoyed as well. Sometimes she would just be telling these fantastic stories. Once I listened in while she was flying through the air with Superman, then the story changed to hunting lions in the jungle. Other times if you listened in you would hear her reliving old memories, usually you would hear, “you did a good job Reah.” Sometimes if you listened close you could hear one side of a conversation with someone she loved. Sometimes it was Grandpa, others it was Grandma and if you were really lucky you could sometimes get a glimpse of a conversation with Danna. More than once she has taken mom up on the offer to go tell Grandpa and I am sure he sided with her more often than he sided with us.
Reah had a testimony of the gospel. When Trent was baptized she insisted on being baptized too. No one could deny her that. I remember one Sunday sitting next to her in fast and testimony meeting and she wanted to get up and bear her testimony. Mom and I were too afraid of what she was going to say. Not that it would be embarrassing but that she just might start teaching the ward the gospel. Neither one of us were brave enough to take her up and she was pretty upset about it for awhile. Reah knew the plan of salvation. She knew that she had family waiting on the other side. She went to the temple and did baptisms for the dead and served in the church.
Reah had a great sense of self. She knew who she was. She and Melanie are the only ones in our family without a middle name but we always called Reah, “Reah Sue.” One day I greated her with my ususal, “Reah Sue how are you?” to which she replied. “I not Sue.” And I thought well ok then. One of her staff tells of a time that she was trying to get Reah moving a little faster and was saying arriba, arriba like Speedy Gonzalez and read said, “My name is not Reba.” She definitely knew who she was.
Reah also had her own sense of style. She knew what clothes she liked and no matter what you tried to do to get her to wear something else it wasn’t happening. She had a favorite t shirt she wore to bed and loved. “the kitty shirt” finally staff just had to do something because it was totally falling apart so they had a funeral for the kitty shirt and buried it in the back yard. Reah was so pitiful about it that Tara took pitty on her, resurrected the kitty shirt, cut the graphic off, repainted it and sewed it onto another shirt. She was thrilled. She loved to be fussed over, having her nails done, getting all dolled up and she never left the house without her hair clips or beads. She was one fancy girl.
Reah loved, flowers. She spent hours cutting out the pictures from mom’s seed magazines and paisting together beautiful bouquets on stacks of papers. Mom and Jenna painted her room with big, bright flowers and she loved it. Reah loved babies, we have pictures of her with almost all of the nieces and nephews and several of the staff would bring in their babies for Reah to hold. Reah loved Disneyland, she loved to ride the carosell and Dumbo. She spent all night at Grad Nite with mom switching between the two rides. She loved holidays. Her room was always decorated with whatever holiday was coming up and she loved to go and visit Santa Clause when Christmas came around. She loved crafts. She spent time coloring, and stringing beads. Her lastest obsession was attempting to create the longest paper chain in the world. The sixteen bags of paper chain that we have strung around the building are the evidence of that attempt. Reah loved her home. She would often give mom the business when mom or the staff would try to take her home but she loved having her own place to be. When she first moved to St. George she would throw a fit for mom the entire way to St. George when she was taking her back. It got to the point that mom would secretly load her stuff in the car and then I would have to drive her home. I have to say that she was just giving mom the business because she never gave me any trouble on those trips and once when she was home to visit when Mel and Lara still lived there and were being loud she looked at me with an exhausted look on her face and said, “take me home.” I totally agreed. Being on your own you got used to the quiet really fast so we loaded up and went home. We didn’t even listen to music in the car that trip we just enjoyed the quiet. Reah loved her family. She loved it when we would come to visit her and she loved to come home to visit. Reah loved her staff. She had funny names and traditions with each one of them. She loved that they fussed over her and dressed her up. She loved the fun things they did with her. They took her shopping, to the library, on picnics, fishing and camping. She got to go to mutual and to dances. She performed in road shows and went to workshop everyday. She was the greeter in her ward and had visiting teachers and home teachers that would come to visit her.
Another of Reah’s famous sayings was “I can do it, MYSELF!” Reah had a list of things that she could do. When she was little she and I would watch gymnastics and ice skating on tv. She would always say, “I can do that.” And if she had ever been given the chance I am sure that she could have. The list of things Reah could do is long. She graduated from High School, she earned her young women’s medallion. She graduated from seminary. She drove cars at the race track. She ran races, she played games, she loved people and influenced more lives than I think we will ever know. She loved life and loved us. She never gave up. Even the morning that she passed away she was insistant that she was able to “Do it myself.”
In the end, she was able to say goodbye to many of the people she loved. She was surrounded by people who loved her and cared for her. She went out with a song and she was welcomed by so many people on the other side who were waiting for her and she finally could “Go tell Grandpa.”
I am so grateful that I got to be her sister and learn so much from her in this life and I am sure that she will continue to teach us all. In the end all I can do is use another one of her famous quotes and say, “You know what? I love you too.”